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how bad is it really? does it hurt like heck?
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The only really bad part is if you have bad results. Any pain is temporary and mild but bad results may not be fixable, ever. I know.
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has anyone been soo swollen that their eyes have swollen shut ?
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During the first 2-4 days that might happen but your eyes shouldn't be swollen shut to the point of not being able to see at all. The swelling didn't peak for me until after 48 to 72 hours.
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I am giving myself 10 days off of work, will i be presentable enough by then?
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You will look different but should be presentable. Some surgeons require splint for one week and tape for another week, for a total of 14 days. If you don't want tape on your nose keep that in mind when interviewing surgeons.
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How soon can i do intense exercise after my surgery (like bootcamp aerobic classes)?
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That varies but it will be a few months. Keep in mind physical activity increases swelling to the nose. You also don't want to do any activity that might injure the nose.
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what about moderate exercise (like an elliptical)?
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Ask your doctor but I can't imagine it being recommended for at least 6 weeks.
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Is it possible to get a rhinoplasty just under LOCAL anesthesia?
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No.
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I'm pretty sure i'll have to have an open rhinoplasty. is that worse than closed?
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Recovery is longer with open.