I am self-diagnosed with BDD. I hate cameras, I hate mirrors, reflections, or anything that results in seeing myself in an unfavorable light or angle. It sends me into deep depression, it gives me serious suicidal ideations. On the contrary, I've never heard any negative opinions about my appearance and many people apparently do not understand why I am so photo-shy and self-conscious about everything. But the fact is, I am not happy with myself, when I see myself, I see something that isn't normal, that isn't human. I see myself as a deformity.
Many people would recommend that I see a psychologist, since plastic surgery typically leads people with my thinking process to redirect that negative attention on some other physical aspect. This may be true, but I don't see how any sort of therapy will ever fix a problem that is clearly physical. And discussing this matter with anyone in reality just appears vain and superficial to the other person.
So I find that these presentable flaws are most apparent in directional lighting and less in direct lighting or flat lighting. Such that if I'm standing with a window or lamp directly to the side of me, it's much easier to detail.
I tried to take these photos in a manner, which would show the deformity the best. ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
In the above, you will notice that there is a general "sunken" triangle affect that extends from the top of my nose. This sunken area is much easier distinguished in positional lighting. ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
The above is a second photo which outlines the sunken triangle on both sides of the face, the sunken areas are symmetrical. This area is better defined by the fact that my face is, for some reason, "shiny", not sure why... ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
The sunken areas also result in what looks to be a build up of skin(?) in the upper lip area, from the corner of the nostril to a little ways past the lip. I've tried to highlight this area, but it's kinda hard to tell in that lighting.
Basically it seems that I apparently don't have cheek bones, therefore the skin on my face does this whole "melting effect" in the cheek area that a human being would normally have some sort of facial mass. Somehow people do not see this. And yes, I've had mild acne problems a couple of months ago, resulting in some marks and red areas that are apparent in this photos.
Would cheek implants even be an ideal option for my issue? I really don't like the idea of surgically altering my face, but if it would end my overall extremely negative and depressing outlook on myself, I am willing to take the leap.